Wrap-Up

My friend from college came to visit, so Rah and I took her out in style. On Friday night, we went to this great place in my neighborhood. We felt like we were back in Europe, or at least TOLD ourselves we felt like we were back in Europe. Anyway, we had little bits of cheese and wine and chocolate, my little piece of heaven. Everything is by the ounce, so you pay anywhere from $1 to $3 per ounce of cheese, wine or chocolate and so are able to TASTE everything on the menu (well maybe not everything, but we tried)! We chatted and caught up and it was so nice. I forgot how nice it is to have girlfriends who KNOW you, not just know you as you are now, but know you and your history. They knew me in college, knew me when I started dating J, knew me when J and I broke up and I dated others and then subsequently came to our wedding. I am myself around them and I realized something this weekend, my self is an annoying know-it-all beatch sometimes! I felt myself spouting diatribes about things that I only have read about, not experienced (like childbirth and starting a business) and this spouting opened my eyes to the fact that I DO IT ALL THE TIME. I am a know-it-all! It is something I definitely do not like about myself and now that I have realized and admitted it, am going to try and change. I think what happens is that at work I always have to agree with other people, so when I am not at work, I try to impose my will and ideas on those around me. Argh! Must stop knowing it all. Because I don't. Not even close.

Kiki had her baby yesterday and I am jealous. I am jealous that her husband was talking about how she was so strong and dug deep when they thought she might have to have c-section after endless pushing and pushed the baby out. I just hope with all my heart that J feels that way about me someday. I am jealous that she gets a perfect little creature of her own. I am jealous that she had an easy breezy conception and pregnancy and delivery. And most of all, jealous that she has three months of maternity leave from work. I am happy for her, so happy, but yesterday when I knew she was in labor, all I felt like doing was crying. I have no idea why.

We are going to visit her after work today and so from today on, I am going to try my hardest to not let it show how jealous I am.